


No Bones About It

by khasael



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Boners, Crack, Curiosity, Curious Stiles, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Penises, Questions, Random & Short, References to Knotting, Shut Up Kiss, Silly, The Author Regrets Nothing, Werewolf Biology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-20
Updated: 2014-03-20
Packaged: 2018-01-16 09:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1343005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khasael/pseuds/khasael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even in the moments leading up to sex, Stiles has questions.</p>
<p>Derek has second thoughts about his life choices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Bones About It

Stiles talks. A lot. 

Derek knows this, has known it for a very long time. But he'd thought that maybe there were circumstances which might actually be able to pause the running commentary from Stiles's mouth. Like right now, when they're pretty clearly heading towards having sex--for the first time. It's been sloppy, energetic kisses and light bites and groping, and Derek is relieved they're finally doing this. It's been a long time in coming.

Stiles shouldn't be able to form so many coherent thoughts and endless questions--at least, not if Derek's doing this right. So it's kind of a blow to his ego when Stiles pulls away from where Derek's sucking a red mark into his neck to fix him with a look and earnestly ask, "Wait, so, do you have a bone? Or will you?"

Derek blinks. He's not entirely hard yet, but he's getting there. Or he was, before Stiles started derailing his focus. He looks down between them. "Give me a minute, okay? Jesus, we only started kissing ninety seconds ago."

"No, that's not what I--" Stiles says, stammering a little and flushing even pinker than he already is. "I _know_ you're turned on and all, and you're not the only one, all right? What I mean is, do you have an actual bone?"

"What the fuck are you even talking about?" Derek asks, blinking even more.

"You know. A baculum. A penis bone. Like real wolves have."

"Stiles," Derek says, feeling a headache trying to come on. "I'm human--enough. Human body. And humans don't have those."

"Well, yeah, I know that, thanks. I did pass biology. I mean, like, I don't know if that's a part of werewolf sex."

"I don't have a fucking penis bone." 

"Well, how am I supposed to know? What if you wolf out? I mean, you have eyebrows when you're human, but _they_ disappear when you go all wolfy. It's not entirely unreasonable to assume--"

Derek can't even--he just _can't even_. So instead he just leans forward and kisses Stiles again, pressing into him until Stiles is squirming and rubbing himself against Derek's thigh, which is much better than the ridiculous line of questioning. Also, it's doing it for Derek, who's more than semi-hard now.

He pulls Stiles onto the bed, trying not to smash their mouths together to the point where he gives Stiles a bloody lip or something like that, and Stiles takes the opportunity to lick his lips (which is _also_ doing it for Derek) and take a deep breath.

"I, uh, also have some questions about knotting?" 

Derek groans. How is this his life?

**Author's Note:**

> Um. So. There was a lecture on the wolves of Yellowstone at the museum here last night (including topics such as ecology, pack dynamics, and wolf-related forensics), which I attended with Byaghro. In her words, "this is why you don't send Ravenclaws to seminars...on anything that's fic-able." Unbeta'd, written in under 5 mins. Sorry not sorry, really. 
> 
> Also, feel free to come say hi [on tumblr](http://khasael.tumblr.com/) :)


End file.
